Looking around I realised that the landscape was begining to crumble and fall away...

The railway station was dry but smelt of wet clothes, the air was sticky, the flourescent lamps hummed and made the place look ill. A couple of students, huddled by their rucksacks and plastic bags, giggled at some unheard and weed relevant joke. I chose on a bench in the middle of main foyer, sat and looked at my watch. 1629hrs. I checked my pocket for lose change and decided there was enough to buy a 45 minute journey in either direction.

As the scene is one of my own creation, it surprised me that the shutters came down. Maybe there is another booth farther along...

The street lights flickered into life, casting halos of orange into the wintery drizzle around their lamps. I turned up my collar, pulled my coat close and headed for the railway station. I would dec ide my next course of action from there.

Within the scenery the objects and songs remain the same, but the songs are of a different arrangement.

The glass collector bustled off to another table, the sneezing man wiped his nose on his hand, sniffed and returned his attention to the crossword and his pint.
I looked at my watch, 1623hrs. I wasn't meant to be anywhere else but this would a good time to leave,
"right, I'm off to catch my train, i'll leave you boys to it.", and without waiting for any coherent response, I grabbed my hat, bag and coat and left.

The path is paved with lip service and conditional rhetoric. But it is still a path and the scenery on either side of the path, is still valid.

There was an uncomfortable silence after his outburst, broken only by the glass collector picking up the empty glasses from the table and a man sneezing into his sleeve.

This path could take me anywhere.

"No!" he said over the drum and hum of the background chatter, "You don't understand, I have a frown on the inside of my eyes. This face of a cross clown that you see is neither to be trusted nor believed. Through the monochrome grey floor tones my inner frown is making me see red and...", he paused a moment, lost in his own vision,".. and green, I'm seeing a lot of that too. If I wasn't carefully distracting myself with the bad habits I have picked up and mastered over the years, I'd be coming at you all with a fucking broken bottle right about now."

"...but no man is an island", he said, but he had never known a loneliness like mine. Another stretch of the path and definitely no sidekick this time, I walked on.

-----Original Message-----
From: paintMonkey
To: EmmaHill@Depublishing

The Blues is no place to have the blues.

BLUES_LO
Originally uploaded by paintMonkey

i had a hangover for most of the day.

After we changed the world.

I really shouldn't, but I think i'll have one more cigarette before bed.
My recent brief attempt at stopping smoking has been put on pause whilst I wait for my view of the world to stop turning upside down and inside out to a soundtrack of distant 'popping'.
I won't bore you wih a self pitying rant about how it never seems to work out for me. I've bored myself stupid with it for the last week and it has done no good at all. Self pity will be of no benefit right now, i'll channel my energies where they're needed, but when this storm has passed, I'm going to put a contract out on my never ending bad karma. Tenders welcome.
I have no idea what will happen in the next few weeks, except that changes in mission profile are coming but I'm sure my compulsions will insist I blog them as it all happens... All I can do is brace myself for Worse Case Scenario (which currently looks inevitable). Hurumph.

My cigarette is almost smoked.