to the point where i've considered giving up smoking...
And as my previous post and half the title of this one implies, i'm slightly annoyed with myself and the patterns I seem to inhabit. I have reached a point where i've begun to question what my motivations are, what my reasons are. I've thought of giving up on doodles, writings and the rest...considering how long i've been doing it, it has never been a success and none of it seems to have done me any good, not particularly. I put way to much time and effort into it all (this blog included) at the expense of security and stability...and for what? Everyone is a damn artist these days, each of them thinking they are more special than they actually are. Each of them thinking they have something important to say. None of them do of course.
In my case my fixed desire to express has, one way or another, broken more things than it has fixed, ...so maybe I should follow everyone else's example and keep my feelings and thoughts to myself and stop trying to say whatever it is I keep trying to say. I certainly wouldn't feel so vulnerable.
Someone once said to me that you only get out what you put in. If only that were true, if only...
I want to close the window . The draught bugs me.
But then, on friday evening I uploaded the appropriately named above picture to flickr...and it turns out to be the most instantly successful image i've ever posted on flickr...it reached a high of #14 in the top 500 Flickr Explore pages, and has had nearly 900 hits in two days.
Oh the irony.
If only all that activity transferred into cash, i'd be a very content soul.
But it doesn't. And i'm not.
Either way, I need to break with my patterns and have a major refocus of my attentions onto other projects. Afterall its not who we are underneath that matters, its what we do that defines us...
So, this isn't a catagorical shutdown of this blog (although I was tempted to just delete it), but it is daren signing off from the blogging thing for now.
Can't really be bothered anymore with constantly justifying each word and entry to those that would pick it apart ;)
â prochain, tout le monde.
"And in the end,
The love you take,
Is equal to the love
You make."
Song: the end
Arist: Beatles
Album: anthology3 disc2
1 comment:
well, it's like - the net you weave in the form of doodles|words|images (and all such daren inc.) is all brilliant (red pen, underlined). I like that word. Stands out and radiates. So back to this net your weaving.. why are you weaving it? I know the first answer - because you like weaving nets. The second answer is because other people like your weaving (proof, pudding, flickr success metrics for one of the easier to spot examples)
The third reason is that you needs a net, to catch some fishies with.
Cast your net further and wider. Find a different fishing pond, and/or (+/-) adopt a new trawl technique.. but keep weaving the net. Keep weaving the net.
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